Introduction

Is death the end or a gateway? Should funerals be a celebration?  This page suggests how death should be observed in the funeral service.

Christians believe that death is the gateway to eternal life.  For this reason, while we mourn, we also have hope. Christian funerals should express both sides of the coin.

What are we doing?

When a Christian dies, we commend that person to God’s continuing care, mercy and love. Whether the circumstances are sudden or expected, whether death has been painful or peaceful, whether the one who has died has been young or old, the central act of the funeral service is to give God thanks for the gift of life and the promise of new life.  We seek strength and comfort for those who mourn and we commit the living and the departed to God.

Many people talk of celebrating the life of the one who has died and want to give a eulogy at the funeral service. While we may understand this desire, we need to remember two things.

We do not stand before God because of our own worth, so eulogies may send the wrong signal – as though God was going to benefit from Uncle Charlie’s presence in heaven!

What we celebrate at the funeral is the life, death and resurrection of Jesus who is the guarantee of our hope.

So we need to understand that we do not praise the deceased (even though we may be thankful for her); we praise God for Jesus.

Where do we do it?

It is best to have the service in church. This is where the one who has died has worshipped and encountered God in Christ; and it is here that we worship that same God who in Christ brings the dead to new life.

Cemetery and crematorium chapels are not places of living faith – they are conveniences for ‘reverent disposal’. Christians ought to gather at church to say farewell – and they should welcome all those who want to come (not just family members).  Sometimes friends are closer than family, and for Christians there is the family of God where Christ is the first-born.

Is there more we can do?

Funeral services can often seem too brief and appear inadequate to express all we want to say and do. They occur close to the time of death and very often those who mourn find that there are times later on which ought to be marked: the first birthday, the first Christmas, the first wedding anniversary, the year’s end, and so on.

Many contemporary funeral rites include the possibility of marking these later stages. Some churches have a service at the beginning of November for all those who have been bereaved during the past 18 months or so. November is a month of remembrance, and the bereaved frequently find it helpful to have a service in which they can remember those who have died. Life goes on and we cannot live in the past. Yet we ought not to forget the love that binds Christians together; the living and the departed join to worship God who in Jesus brings us safe home at the last.

Further Thinking

Have you thought about your own funeral?

Does ‘not having a fuss’ actually prevent others from expressing their grief and their love?

Have you any unfinished business from the death of another person? How could the church help you to deal with this?

Abbey Baptist Church, Abbey Square, Reading. RG1 3BE   Tel: 0118 957 2197