Introduction

How do Christians think about marriage and the family in worship? This page introduces some suggestions.

The public face of marriage

Marriage is still important. It is a public statement about a personal commitment. Marriage is not private; it has implications beyond the couple and their families. When two people marry, they invite other to witness what they promise.

Society still takes marriage seriously enough to make clear rules about how couples should make their contract. They have to be legally free, they must do it without coercion, they must do it in front of witnesses, and they must register the fact that they have married.

The Christian face of marriage

Christian marriage is the smallest form of the church: “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there in the midst,” says Jesus. This why Christians take marriage seriously, they are beginning a new life with Jesus in the midst.

Marriage is intended to be permanent and exclusive. We are not perfect, and so marriages sometimes fail; but we continue to promise that we will give ourselves to our partner alone and for as long as we live.

The NT uses the intimacy and depth of commitment that marriage expresses to describe our relationship with Christ. This too is permanent and exclusive.

The wedding as worship

For these reasons, Christian marriage is a service of public worship. We praise God for the gifts of love and sexual attraction. We commend to God those who will make their vows. We hear the word of God to those who marry and to those who witness the marriage. We pray for fidelity and integrity in love. For Christians, marriage is impossible without God, and so we seek God’s presence with and blessing on those who bind themselves to each other.

Family life

Where there are children in the marriage, we encourage parents to give thanks to God for the gift of new life and to present their children and themselves for God’s blessing. We promise to support parents in helping to raise their children and we ask God to give strength to those who are entrusted with those who embark upon this new chapter of life.

Families can be dangerous places! They can be secretive and they can exclude others. Christians pray for strength to make their families places of safety and welcome, so that life for the young is not furtive or fearful but a journey into joyful maturity.

If we talk about the church as a family or household, we need to be welcoming to those who find family life hard or hurtful. For too many, talk of God as a loving father or mother is almost impossible to bear because of the parenting they have received.

Marriage and the family need all the support we can offer – especially in a society where marriage is so difficult to sustain and families are so often battlefields.

Further Thinking

Do some people refrain from marriage, because they feel that the promises they are asked to make are too great?

Do those who live together faithfully (though unmarried) require as much support as those who marry but do not exhibit integrity and loyalty in their marriage?

Are all Christian marriages and homes good advertisements for family life?

How do we help couples in practical ways

Abbey Baptist Church, Abbey Square, Reading. RG1 3BE   Tel: 0118 957 2197